I never fail to be impressed by assertive people. I´m not certain whether or not this is a character flaw. It seems to me that just because someone is assertive does not mean that they are necessarily worthy of my awe, so to speak. And yet, when someone enters a meeting or social function or any other public event and presents themselves with authority and ease, I get impressed.
This always makes me wonder who do I impress? For some reason or other, I have always wanted to be an expert on something. However, time after time I have found myself in "generalist" roles of one sort or another. And so I often ask myself, am I an expert in anything?
I think sometimes it is difficult to grow up bilingual and bicultural - Spanish and American. The pressure to become fully one or another, to completely fit in, is immense. This is as true as an adolescent as it is as an adult and a parent. Providing one's children with security and good self esteem and little wings to help them fly one day is challenging when you grew up in a world where everything is held sacred and where, even as an adult, you are expected to respect your elders.
And so, while I work to become and expert at being myself, I will explore the challenges of motherhood, daughterhood and just plain living in the US today here. Feel free to join me.