Cada Uno en Su Casa...

Hay un refran que dice "Cada uno en su casa, y Dios en la de todos." Esto se aplica bien a los dias de fiesta.

My family in the US is small. It started out as just my father, my mother, my sister and I. (When grandpa was still alive, he and his second wife were here as well.) When I married my husband it grew a bit more. Upon having our three girls we grew a lot, and when my sister had her two plus her step-son... well we hit paydirt! The holidays were huge and noisy with lots of kids running around. But times changed and my sister bought a summer home. And what a summer home it is! Then she and her husband decided that they would spend all their holidays at the beach house... and we were invited. "It will be like the Kennedy compound," she said. But the Kennedys we are not.

The offer was gracious but reality set in. How do you keep your parents and inlaws happy when you can't be in two places at once? How do you incorporate your Puerto Rican/Spanish/Greek heritage in your meal, when you are not the one doing the cooking? How do I stop feeling guilty that I won't be at my sister's house for Thanksgiving?

At first I was peeved. Then I was just sad at the realization that there wouldn't be a multicultural hoarde of children running around my raised ranch anymore. It was hard to ignore the tension and focus on the positive, but the words of a friend helped me a lot. My friend counseled me and told me that in reality what I had wanted all along was to make everyone happy. If that meant not being able to see them on Thanksgiving but reassuring them that all was well nonetheless, so be it. So I ignored some of the more painful guilt trips and went ahead with Thanksgiving at home - and we had a really wonderful day!

And Thanksgiving morning I decided that I would visit my sister at the beach the day after Thanksgiving. And so we did, and maybe just maybe a new tradition was born.

Comilona

Comí demasiado ayer. No me funcionan los dedos. Hasta el lunes!

Supporting Latinas: Todobebé and Jeannette Kaplun

Because I love to see Latinas succeed in the US while maintaining their cultural identity and working to help others, I have come to really respect Jeannette Kaplun and the work that Todobebé performs. I found these words of hers online:

"Como mamá, he grabado el piloto de nuestro primer programa de televisión en mi garaje y he terminado el último capítulo de nuestro libro de Todobebé para padres primerizos durante un huracán, a pocas semanas de dar a luz a mi hija", dice Jeannette Kaplun, Cofundadora y Editora en Jefe de Todobebe.com, "Por esto puedo decir que realmente nuestro décimo aniversario es un hito para nuestra empresa, para las millones de familias a las que hemos llegado y para las vidas que hemos cambiado en todo el mundo. Nada de esto hubiera sido posible sin nuestras mamás y sus familias. De eso se trata Todobebé, de la aventura de ser padres y de la posibilidad de celebrar el futuro de nuestros hijos".

If you have some time today visit their site and join it. In addition to the photo upload contest I mentioned this week, they are also having a video upload contest which you can view here: http://www.todobebe.com/video-bebe-sonriente/nuevo.

Feliz Thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving!

It´s Thanksgiving Day. For my home it means Macy´s parade, abuelo Jose´s Puerto Rican-American stuffing and feta cheese. It´s wonderful to be a Latina in NY.

Happy Thanksgiving!

10 Años de Todobebé

One of my favorite websites belongs to Todobebé. In addition to having a first rate program on Univision, the website provides me with excellent information on motherhood as well as day to day tips on how to just do the best you can. What I like most, however, is that the folks there are genuine mothers and women who experience life as women who are also Latinas.

As they celebrate their 10 year anniversary online Todobebé is providing many opportunities for individuals to win wonderful gifts, just for visiting the site and participating with their online community. Their weekly online contests showcase the beauty of family with photos submitted by users of celebrations (baby birth, christening, birthdays, anniversaries, family reunions, etc.) The photos that receive the most votes, win a weekly prize! The prizes include:

• IKEA $500 Gift Certificates
• Johnson & Johnson Baby Product Gift Baskets
• Fisher Price Developmental Toys
• Sony Digital Camera and Photo Frame
• Mary Kay Product Gift Bags

In addition, every weekday until Christmas Todobebe will be announcing a new winner who will receive a special gift from Todobebe: Todobebé Canticuentos (Songstories to Sing with Your Children). The week of Thanksgiving there will be a special drawing from Club members, and the winner will receive a $1,000 Walmart gift certificate from Todobebé to buy whatever they need and want for their family.

I plan to give it a shot.

Mi Abuelo "Americano"

Here in the US it seems that the holiday season is kicked off on Thanksgiving Day. At least it is for me.

Thanksgiving Day was much pondered in my home growing up. It was one of the truly few "American" things we did. Just about every other aspect of our life was quintessencially Spanish. What we ate, how we dressed and how we "addressed" others was always part of some ritual or other, or at a minimum appeared to have some otherworldy meaning. But Thanksgiving, now that was American.

Until I heard the audiotape...

My abuelo José was my father´s father. He was my American grandfather. He lived in NY and we would see him every Sunday until he moved to Hialeah and passed away. He worked in Macy´s most of his life. You don´t get much more American than that. Ofcourse ¨Grandpa¨ was born and raised in Puerto Rico. (We referred to him as ¨el abuelo José¨ but we CALLED him Grandpa.) He was larger than life, and towered over my father. He never failed to have a gift for us each week - ranging from coloring books to electric organs - and always had something cooking. He loved to cook and his specialties were Roast Beef (American) and Arroz con Gandules (American? Yes, American). My mother, who was born and raised in Spain, learned a lot from him, but one of his biggest gifts to her was to teach her how to cook a Thanksgiving meal. And so, Thanksgiving was the holiday we not only received from the early settlers. In my household, it was also the American holiday we received from my Grandpa.

One day, while in college, I took advantage of my parents' absence and decided to look through my father's old memorabilia. There I found a cassette tape. It looked old, circa 1970-something. I recalled that as children my sister and I would grab our red plastic Panasonic tape recorder and randomly tape conversations around us and so I was curious to hear what was on the cassette. As I listed to the voices I heard my father's and two very high pitched voices, impossibly high pitched voices, which I surmised belonged to my sister and I. And then I heard a third voice. It was a male voice, and somewhat nasal. What struck me is that this other man in the room spoke with a very strong accent. It was a Puerto Rican accent and it was MY GRANDPA! "But Grandpa was American," I thought to myself. "How can this be?" And when the confusion subsided I realized that as a child I did not recognize an accent for what it was. In my grade school mind Grandpa spoke perfect English and he epitomized America for me.

Today, a lot older and somewhat the wiser, I realize my Grandpa, my Abuelo José was a real American - geographically, mentally and emotionally. This Thanksgiving, I will remember my 6 foot tall, blond haired, blue eyed American Grandpa and I will thank him for passing down his recipe for making turkey and stuffing, full of manzanilla olives and alcaparras.

Gracias abuelo!

Am I an Expert?

I never fail to be impressed by assertive people. I´m not certain whether or not this is a character flaw. It seems to me that just because someone is assertive does not mean that they are necessarily worthy of my awe, so to speak. And yet, when someone enters a meeting or social function or any other public event and presents themselves with authority and ease, I get impressed.

This always makes me wonder who do I impress? For some reason or other, I have always wanted to be an expert on something. However, time after time I have found myself in "generalist" roles of one sort or another. And so I often ask myself, am I an expert in anything?

I think sometimes it is difficult to grow up bilingual and bicultural - Spanish and American. The pressure to become fully one or another, to completely fit in, is immense. This is as true as an adolescent as it is as an adult and a parent. Providing one's children with security and good self esteem and little wings to help them fly one day is challenging when you grew up in a world where everything is held sacred and where, even as an adult, you are expected to respect your elders.

And so, while I work to become and expert at being myself, I will explore the challenges of motherhood, daughterhood and just plain living in the US today here. Feel free to join me.